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Tense Not
April 11th, 2007 (09:22 am)
I feel...: lonely
I feel...: lonely
[8:13a]
Here I am. Back to work. Except I'm here on days Cristin isn't. And I'm temporary. So pretty much, it's not my desk or my computer. So I have to be careful not to move things where she can't find them. But I will move them. I can't work in clutter. I understand some people can, but I can't.
Big storm last night. First time in years I was actually scared. Had to get up to put some clothes on because I thought we'd had to run to the storm shelter or something. It's too hot in that room to sleep in clothes.
Anyway. I hope there's still some coffee stuff.
It's funny. I can be more productive (even with my personal matters) when I am here. I prefer being here. Is it the desk? No matter. Being here makes waiting easier.
Two things I did dread about coming back was dealing with the printer and the mailing. Well, to be fair, she's keeping Cristin on that. Ok!
I get to design, but I get to send it off and THEY get to deal with printing and sending. Oh how perfect.
Still waiting for Julie to get in.
[9:28a]
Well, no Cokes. Guess I was the only one who liked them. There is Dr. Pepper. I like that enough. The coffee tasted horrible for some reason. And there are chips? Nice.
[10:24a]
My eye feels bruised. Weird.
[12:07p]
Boss here! Work to do! YAY!
[1:07p]
I found a blog. A journalist that lives in Alberta writes it. I am somehow comforted as I read it. I can't live there yet, but I can live vicariously.
Here I am. Back to work. Except I'm here on days Cristin isn't. And I'm temporary. So pretty much, it's not my desk or my computer. So I have to be careful not to move things where she can't find them. But I will move them. I can't work in clutter. I understand some people can, but I can't.
Big storm last night. First time in years I was actually scared. Had to get up to put some clothes on because I thought we'd had to run to the storm shelter or something. It's too hot in that room to sleep in clothes.
Anyway. I hope there's still some coffee stuff.
It's funny. I can be more productive (even with my personal matters) when I am here. I prefer being here. Is it the desk? No matter. Being here makes waiting easier.
Two things I did dread about coming back was dealing with the printer and the mailing. Well, to be fair, she's keeping Cristin on that. Ok!
I get to design, but I get to send it off and THEY get to deal with printing and sending. Oh how perfect.
Still waiting for Julie to get in.
[9:28a]
Well, no Cokes. Guess I was the only one who liked them. There is Dr. Pepper. I like that enough. The coffee tasted horrible for some reason. And there are chips? Nice.
[10:24a]
My eye feels bruised. Weird.
[12:07p]
Boss here! Work to do! YAY!
[1:07p]
I found a blog. A journalist that lives in Alberta writes it. I am somehow comforted as I read it. I can't live there yet, but I can live vicariously.
Meme a gogo
Have you ever taken a picture of your eye?
Yes
Do you actually have a favorite flower?
I like the unique looking ones.
Can you change a printer cartridge?
Yes....They usually have instructions if I can't figure it out.
Do you have sensitive skin?
Yep
Do you recognize Justin Timberlake's songs?:
No
When did you last have a cookie?:
Oh man. Don't know.
Are you lactose intolerant?:
Mildly
Are you a sarcastic person?:
I really don't know. I can be at times.
Who were you in - no not high school - even worse... middle school?:
I was...me?
Have you worn lipstick before (even as a joke)?:
I -am- a girl.
Do you judge a person by how they dress?:
I get first impressions of course, but I try to keep in mind they likely aren't that first impression.
Do you have a credit card?:
One that I don't plan to use again for a long while.
Do you personally know anyone who has gone bankrupt?:
I don't know.
Do you honestly watch very much TV?:
Yes
How many emails do you have?:
a few
What do you say to the statement, "Love is suicide!" ?:
Well...yea. You start caring about someone else more than yourself. And by the time you realize, it's too late. :D
Are YOU smarter than a fifth grader?
I would think stuff I learned in fifth grade has been forgotten by now.
Would you ever go on that show?:
Nopers
If you couldn't swim, how would you save a drowning friend?
Life preserver. Or jump in anyway.
Now you can swim. Your worst enemy is drowning. What do you do?:
Save them. But if they tried to drown me, I'd drown them.
Are you comfortable with your looks?:
As long as Dave is happy with them, I'm ok.
Have you ever had sleep problems like insomnia?:
I sleep fitfully when stressed.
Have you ever been ripped off?:
Everyone will be sometime in their life.
Have you ever ripped someone off?:
I try not to.
Do you actually believe that Alaska is covered in snow?:
Not year round, not ALL of Alaska. Or I won't say it is. Parts of Canada half almost half a year without snow.
Ever been there? Or ever want to go there?
Yea. Kinda.
What’s a better band name, "Polaris" or "The Apricots"?:
Polaris
Have you ever taken a dance class?:
Yep. I miss it.
How many different instant messengers do you have?:
MSN, Yahoo, AIM, Skype, but hardly ever turn any on.
Are you an obsessive personality?:
in some areas, I have a tendency.
Did/do you hate PE in school?:
Yes. Unless we got to play a game, I hated it.
Would you ever take steroids?:
no
Have you ever been in a movie theater when it is light?:
You mean before nightfall? Yes. They're cheaper.
Do you ever wish you were the opposite sex?:
No
Do you take pictures of yourself for your Myspace (or other site)?
occasionally
Are you very good at running on rocks?:
I'm not good at running period.
Have you ever actually seen the ocean?:
I've seen the gulf and one of the great lakes.
Do you like minty or hot gum?:
minty...but hot when I feel wild ;)
Do you like having a "cute" or a "hot" girlfriend/boyfriend better?:
uh...what? He's cute AND hot. So there!
Do you wear jewelry often?:
very rarely
When did you stop believing the opposite sex was "icky" or "had cuddies"?:
I still haven't. Dave's the only non-coodie, non-icky guy alive :D
what color is your keyboard?:
silver/black
and your mouse?:
silver/black
speaking of mice, have you ever seen one?:
yes
Ever been to Hollywood?:
no
Why did the title make you want to take this survey?:
What title?
Have you ever experienced a hurricane?:
no
If you moved to Florida and a hurricane hit, would you ever go back?:
I won't move there for the "rumors" of hurricanes alone
Do you honestly think brunettes are smarter than blondes and redheads?:
Of course not.
Or that redheads have a temper?:
No. It's their Irish heritage. Well, no not even that. I think it's because they can use it as an excuse?
Or that all blondes are preppy?:
No. What the heck is with these stereotypes?
Was your 8th grade math teacher a man or a woman?:
both.
What's the weirdest name for a person you've ever heard?:
I can't remember but there have been a lot.
have you ever actually played tennis?:
no, but i'd like to
What was the name of the kid that everyone made fun of in middle school?:
Lori. Seriously. It was me. A few others, but I was one of the ones they made fun of.
Ever met someone named Tom?:
He's one of my dad's friends.
Who's the tallest person you've ever met?:
My nephew. Kinda odd when you knew that person from a tiny baby and they grow up taller than 6 feet.
Or most immature adult?:
me again. -smirk- (and would I really answer this? how rude!)
Do you smile with your teeth showing?:
yes, but I think I look better with a subtle smile
What's your favorite kind of chocolate?:
Symphony
Can you make a weapon out of a tape measure?:
Oh yea. Can strangle someone at the least.
Do you have a Mac or PC?:
PC
What do you think of when you hear the word "Plume"?:
Bird feathers. and looked it up. I was close: "A long, feather-shaped cloud of steam or gases."
Ever been to Sea World?:
no
Do you have caller ID?:
don't have my own phone
Did you ever have a huge group of friends at school?:
Buddies. Didn't have real friends until after high school.
Were/are your siblings loners?:
um...not now.
Were/are you a loner?
Pretty much. I do like being social, though.
Do you actually listen to AC/DC or just wear the shirts?:
neither
And Nirvana? Or the legendary "zero" Smashing Pumpkins shirt?
nope
Did your grandparents spoil you?:
They didn't get a chance to.
How about for some real trouble making?:
What do you mean?
Are you awkward around your latest crush?:
Nope
Was this long enough?:
for what?
Have you ever taken a picture of your eye?
Yes
Do you actually have a favorite flower?
I like the unique looking ones.
Can you change a printer cartridge?
Yes....They usually have instructions if I can't figure it out.
Do you have sensitive skin?
Yep
Do you recognize Justin Timberlake's songs?:
No
When did you last have a cookie?:
Oh man. Don't know.
Are you lactose intolerant?:
Mildly
Are you a sarcastic person?:
I really don't know. I can be at times.
Who were you in - no not high school - even worse... middle school?:
I was...me?
Have you worn lipstick before (even as a joke)?:
I -am- a girl.
Do you judge a person by how they dress?:
I get first impressions of course, but I try to keep in mind they likely aren't that first impression.
Do you have a credit card?:
One that I don't plan to use again for a long while.
Do you personally know anyone who has gone bankrupt?:
I don't know.
Do you honestly watch very much TV?:
Yes
How many emails do you have?:
a few
What do you say to the statement, "Love is suicide!" ?:
Well...yea. You start caring about someone else more than yourself. And by the time you realize, it's too late. :D
Are YOU smarter than a fifth grader?
I would think stuff I learned in fifth grade has been forgotten by now.
Would you ever go on that show?:
Nopers
If you couldn't swim, how would you save a drowning friend?
Life preserver. Or jump in anyway.
Now you can swim. Your worst enemy is drowning. What do you do?:
Save them. But if they tried to drown me, I'd drown them.
Are you comfortable with your looks?:
As long as Dave is happy with them, I'm ok.
Have you ever had sleep problems like insomnia?:
I sleep fitfully when stressed.
Have you ever been ripped off?:
Everyone will be sometime in their life.
Have you ever ripped someone off?:
I try not to.
Do you actually believe that Alaska is covered in snow?:
Not year round, not ALL of Alaska. Or I won't say it is. Parts of Canada half almost half a year without snow.
Ever been there? Or ever want to go there?
Yea. Kinda.
What’s a better band name, "Polaris" or "The Apricots"?:
Polaris
Have you ever taken a dance class?:
Yep. I miss it.
How many different instant messengers do you have?:
MSN, Yahoo, AIM, Skype, but hardly ever turn any on.
Are you an obsessive personality?:
in some areas, I have a tendency.
Did/do you hate PE in school?:
Yes. Unless we got to play a game, I hated it.
Would you ever take steroids?:
no
Have you ever been in a movie theater when it is light?:
You mean before nightfall? Yes. They're cheaper.
Do you ever wish you were the opposite sex?:
No
Do you take pictures of yourself for your Myspace (or other site)?
occasionally
Are you very good at running on rocks?:
I'm not good at running period.
Have you ever actually seen the ocean?:
I've seen the gulf and one of the great lakes.
Do you like minty or hot gum?:
minty...but hot when I feel wild ;)
Do you like having a "cute" or a "hot" girlfriend/boyfriend better?:
uh...what? He's cute AND hot. So there!
Do you wear jewelry often?:
very rarely
When did you stop believing the opposite sex was "icky" or "had cuddies"?:
I still haven't. Dave's the only non-coodie, non-icky guy alive :D
what color is your keyboard?:
silver/black
and your mouse?:
silver/black
speaking of mice, have you ever seen one?:
yes
Ever been to Hollywood?:
no
Why did the title make you want to take this survey?:
What title?
Have you ever experienced a hurricane?:
no
If you moved to Florida and a hurricane hit, would you ever go back?:
I won't move there for the "rumors" of hurricanes alone
Do you honestly think brunettes are smarter than blondes and redheads?:
Of course not.
Or that redheads have a temper?:
No. It's their Irish heritage. Well, no not even that. I think it's because they can use it as an excuse?
Or that all blondes are preppy?:
No. What the heck is with these stereotypes?
Was your 8th grade math teacher a man or a woman?:
both.
What's the weirdest name for a person you've ever heard?:
I can't remember but there have been a lot.
have you ever actually played tennis?:
no, but i'd like to
What was the name of the kid that everyone made fun of in middle school?:
Lori. Seriously. It was me. A few others, but I was one of the ones they made fun of.
Ever met someone named Tom?:
He's one of my dad's friends.
Who's the tallest person you've ever met?:
My nephew. Kinda odd when you knew that person from a tiny baby and they grow up taller than 6 feet.
Or most immature adult?:
me again. -smirk- (and would I really answer this? how rude!)
Do you smile with your teeth showing?:
yes, but I think I look better with a subtle smile
What's your favorite kind of chocolate?:
Symphony
Can you make a weapon out of a tape measure?:
Oh yea. Can strangle someone at the least.
Do you have a Mac or PC?:
PC
What do you think of when you hear the word "Plume"?:
Bird feathers. and looked it up. I was close: "A long, feather-shaped cloud of steam or gases."
Ever been to Sea World?:
no
Do you have caller ID?:
don't have my own phone
Did you ever have a huge group of friends at school?:
Buddies. Didn't have real friends until after high school.
Were/are your siblings loners?:
um...not now.
Were/are you a loner?
Pretty much. I do like being social, though.
Do you actually listen to AC/DC or just wear the shirts?:
neither
And Nirvana? Or the legendary "zero" Smashing Pumpkins shirt?
nope
Did your grandparents spoil you?:
They didn't get a chance to.
How about for some real trouble making?:
What do you mean?
Are you awkward around your latest crush?:
Nope
Was this long enough?:
for what?
It's CANADA! Not Canadia!
We are working toward getting the required paperwork done.
It is also preferred that Dave fly here and we drive back. I am fully aware the process will not be better. In fact, instead of just a few suitcases, they go through your vehicle. However, I find it more appealing to deal with this at a ground point of entry rather than an airport.
The added issue of what vehicle we can rent that is allowed to cross. I caved about the "they'll let you in without the papers" and look where that got me. ;) I will push for making sure about the vehicle.
The trip will be much longer, but I am a little weary at best; phobic at worst about airports right now.
I am expecting it to take 3 or more months for the paperwork to be finalized. So I will have to suffer through another Arkansas summer.
I think Dave and I both go through phases where we're numb, patient and then others where we're so sad, impatient we don't know what to do with ourselves.
There are times where I think "Just pushing some paper for a few months and we can do this."
But today I remember another time I had tried to do and it was trial and error the whole process. I was trying to give plasma and in 3 tries finally got the paperwork, but then I didn't realize you could have too much protein in your system. I gave up. I could had drunk more water and tried again, but I didn't care anymore.
I don't want to go there just to have to come back anymore. Next time I go, I want to STAY.
Another reason I prefer a road trip is to be with Dave is ... Or maybe I can just convince him to come on a plane just so he can go back with me on a plane? I know. Ridiculous.
I am completely capable of doing it alone. It's just so lonely and if he hadn't been there when I had to go back, I'd likely be at an insane asylum at the border or something.
We are working toward getting the required paperwork done.
It is also preferred that Dave fly here and we drive back. I am fully aware the process will not be better. In fact, instead of just a few suitcases, they go through your vehicle. However, I find it more appealing to deal with this at a ground point of entry rather than an airport.
The added issue of what vehicle we can rent that is allowed to cross. I caved about the "they'll let you in without the papers" and look where that got me. ;) I will push for making sure about the vehicle.
The trip will be much longer, but I am a little weary at best; phobic at worst about airports right now.
I am expecting it to take 3 or more months for the paperwork to be finalized. So I will have to suffer through another Arkansas summer.
I think Dave and I both go through phases where we're numb, patient and then others where we're so sad, impatient we don't know what to do with ourselves.
There are times where I think "Just pushing some paper for a few months and we can do this."
But today I remember another time I had tried to do and it was trial and error the whole process. I was trying to give plasma and in 3 tries finally got the paperwork, but then I didn't realize you could have too much protein in your system. I gave up. I could had drunk more water and tried again, but I didn't care anymore.
I don't want to go there just to have to come back anymore. Next time I go, I want to STAY.
Another reason I prefer a road trip is to be with Dave is ... Or maybe I can just convince him to come on a plane just so he can go back with me on a plane? I know. Ridiculous.
I am completely capable of doing it alone. It's just so lonely and if he hadn't been there when I had to go back, I'd likely be at an insane asylum at the border or something.
So, you said that you are or are not getting married to Dave before trying to go back to Canada?
I know the waiting must be torture; in a way, it's a lot like what a soldier's wife goes through when her husband is at war (except, of course, Dave's life isn't at risk). Random thought? Yeah, I'm full of 'em.